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To: Mr. McHotness 8:58 a.m. did you make me happy? did i make you happy? even for a moment... or was i just a space an ear to listen a mind to bend i was don't answer you wouldn't anyway you never loved me you're just one big mass of confusion, desire and frustration you are contradiction personified i was right to leave you you would've left me soon we belonged together didn't we? we belong apart? don't we do i still want you... when am i disgusted with you? but then again, why is it that when your name comes up.... i get an uncontrollable emotion i cant tell what it is is it anger, fear, want denial i cant make you die i cant put you away i don't still love you but i still FEEL but you don't feel anything about me im 'gullible' that's how you put it i still feel anger you took my love took it for granted the best, truest love you had your diamond in the sea of whores you threw me away you didn't love me like i deserved i wasted myself on you i hate you for that but God, at one point i felt you loved me i did really you know, i would've married you yes you heard me you pessimistic coward i would have given all of myself to you happily i was your puppet glad to be in your presence you always had me like that but you didn't care you bastard i spent hours agonizing over you nights crying three of them and yet with a word you could make me forget all of it your little control always the gemini you never gave me the one thing i wanted your heart your love acknowledgment of hoe i cared for you that's all i wanted you to do oh yrs, your guitars your analogies beautiful little lies pretty stories and nice words they covered your lies you never loved me you would've given her up if you loved me you would've been all right just you and me you made me feel bad about wanting what is normal you hear me NORMAL im not supposed to worry about you with other girls did you know that? i didn't well fuck you im with someone new now someone who treats me like a queen who loves me who doesn't put down my childish notions of love he love me, the woman he recognizes the love and care i give he wants me but still.... why isn't he enough for me because he's not you i hate you for that as wrong as you are you became my heart i hate you i want to make you feel pain i want to make you bleed inside like i did but nothing i do will phase you pass your facade you're unbreakable im not i hate you youll always have some cutting word some pointed phrase something to cut me with i do my best it rolls off your back like you don't care i hate you you make me care im struggling i know it one day i will be truly free of you really this ache will subside it will leave i wont need to hurt you soon, nothing you do will affect me there was a time i didn't know you i will return to it i will be me without you |
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