so-called best friend
3:16 a.m.

dear so-called best friend,

you were one of my best friends... or so i thought. i think you were friends with me just to benefit yourself and because you knew i had a lot of friends and you didn't have any, well at least not any good friends. i stood up for you when people said certain things about you, i let you cry on my shoulder when things got rough with your ex-girlfriend... i was the one you came to when you were bored because i would stop doing anything just to keep you company... i found you 2 other really great friends... we did everything together last semester, we were inseperable... i mean my boyfriend at the time was jealous because you saw me a whole lot more than he did...

but then this semester you changed... i can't pinpoint what exactly changed all i know is you weren't you anymore... at least not the you that i knew... you were someone else... you were a selfish always complaining jerk... you stopped spending as much time with us because you found other friends, which i understand, but it isn't a reason to give up on those of us that have been there for you no matter what... you got mad at me for becoming friends with your ex-girlfriend... i mean you're the one that introduced us and encouraged me to become friends with her in the beginning, but now i'm no longer allowed to talk to her... well i'm sorry but you can't tell me what i can and cannot do... you were supposed to go on our little beach trip... you knew the price at least a week ahead of time and you agreed to it... but then the night before we were supposed to leave... you backed out because you supposedly didn't have the money, well if that was the case why didn't you say so from the get-go... i ended up covering your missing share of the money for the hotel, but i let that slide... i mean you were my best friend... then i find you a great girl (my cousin) i mean she is beautiful, smart, funny, and just has a wonderful personality... and you seemed to agree... y'all talked all the time and arranged a date... well you were to pick her up at my house because it was closer to your house than hers was... but at 9 pm that night, once she was all ready and wondering where you are, you called and said you didn't feel like driving that far (it was only 30 minutes from your house)... i mean you made my cousin cry, but for some reason she forgave you and i did too... i couldn't stay mad at you, or so i thought... then the two of you plan another date... and you bring your ex along on the date... how could you?! i mean are you stupid... you're going on a date with your best friend's cousin, someone that you now can only dream of ever having a chance with... but for some reason even though you hurt my cousin again i let it slide... i mean that's what best friends are supposed to do right?! then you started back up with this whole telling me what to do shit... well i couldn't take it any longer... that's when you lost me... you lost one of the best friends you will ever have... i was there for you no matter what... i treated you better than anyone... i gave you, not only a second chance, but several chances, but you continued to mess them up... well now i'm done with your crap... i know what i did to you was very mean and immature, but from what i hear it made you cry (which isn't something i would usually want to happen as a result of something i did), but i'm glad... i mean you deserved to go through the same misery that you put me and my family and several of our other friends through... at first when i did it i actually felt bad afterwards, but what was done was done, but now in all honesty... i'm proud of myself... you deserve it... you're just a jerk, a selfish jerk... you hurt me and took advantage of my friendship and in all honesty i don't care about you anymore... you no longer exist in my eyes and mind... tomorrow when i wake up in the morning i'm tearing down every picture i have of you... i'm going to throw them out my window... if you would like any of them, you know where i live even though you haven't been by here since we had our big fight... well that's all i have to say except that i honestly wish i wouldn't have wasted so much time defending you and being here for you, when i never got any of that back in return... i loved you because you were my best friend, but now to me you are the dirt that i walk on and i loathe you!

goodbye for good -me-

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