friends turning a blind eye
6:02 p.m.

Dear friend,

I write this here and not in an email, or a letter, or my own diary because I have to say it somewhere but I cannot say it to you, because I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you. You are my friend.

You need to leave this boy alone. He loves you and you let him. Don't pretend that you have no power over it, don't act that naive. You keep him around because having him tell you he loves you makes you feel good. Its understandable, natural even. But it isn't fair.

If I did tell you this you'd probably say I don't understand, because I don't know everything. You're right, I don't. All I can tell you is how it looks from the outside. And it looks bad. It looks like you enjoy having someone in love with you, even if you don't feel the same, even if it causes him pain, because it makes you feel wanted. It looks like you call him for ego-boosts. It looks like a situation I knew about from the boy's point of view, a situation that caused a boy I love immense amounts of pain, a situation that made me hate the girl involved. I don't want to end up hating you, because you're too special to me.

So here's the deal: you stop talking to me about him and I'll pretend like he isn't there. I'll ignore the situation for the sake of our friendship if you stop shoving it in my face. I feel bad for the boy but ultimately our friendship is my priority. Do what you have to do, but don't hate me for not listening.

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