C.
12:07 a.m.

this is a letter to a girl. from a girl. both entangled in their own lives and their own relationships with men.

but somehow we found each other.

from the minute i read your words, saw your face,

i fell so deep into this new refreshing love, that i havent been able to crawl out of it.

its been months since we acknowledged the feelings, and months since we oppressed them and let them linger, hanging here in my heart not being able to let them out

when all i want to do darling is kiss you and run away with you and make a life with you.

i dont know if you'll ever read this, or even if i want you to, the friendship we have built is lifelong and precious, but darling will these feelings ever cease to haunt me? would you even want them to?

one day we'll have our picnics together with our families and while our children play together, and our husbands huddle around the television screen consumed by sports, we'll sneak to the back and make out and pretend for those few minutes that this is our life without them, this is our house that we share together, this is our family. we are one.

and then when we open our lids to the realizations around us, the screaming kids yelling for their own mother and father , the dream will die down within us, only to be stirred again on another hot summer afternoon where we're allowed to live in a world we cannot have.

and i wish i would have met you sooner. before him. before anyone. i wonder how our lives would have turned out.

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