Dear Joe, do not call me.
5:00 p.m.

Goodafternoon. You left a very creepy message on my answering machine. Yes, I changed the message on it, but do you have to spend the first sixty seconds of monologue freaking out about it? Thats ... wierd. And unhealthy. And no, I haven't spoken to you since right after the new year. But do you have to freak out about that, too? YOU broke up with ME, remember? Yeah, remember? You're the one that told ME you spent every day for the last 3 years wishing you could find the strength to do it. Our mutual friend told me that you got trashed a couple of weeks ago. HA- HA. And that it made you cry because you felt like a horrible person? Ha. Now thats one way to fall off your high horse.

Don't ever call me without reason, again. And don't ever leave me creepy voicemail messages like a stalker. Go to therapy or something. Start taking your pills again (remember, the government says you have to). And don't call me.

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