I write this to myself...
4:21 p.m.

I write this to myself as I dream while I am awake. I tremble with my thoughts of confusion and chaos that rip my skull into utter fear and loneliness. Loosing my heart in my own sanity and fear of reality. To take that step forward, but is it truly me stepping into the light or another pit of darkness I'll never escape.

I feel warm tears moisten tan cheeks and eyes burning with emptiness. A blurry vision of what I see and feel and if what I really know is true or have I lost myself again?

I don't know, I don't want to know; too much anguish with the truth, yet already I am in torment.

Make the dreaming stop, for I am still awake, and the chilling thoughts rip my mind and heart apart.

I can't wake up from this dream I'm in, turning in circles as I try to escape, but I don't want to escape from my fantasy land and yet it is the thing that is breaking me apart. To give up a demonizing dream for harsh reality and face the questions and truths they give, or remain and die a little more each day.

I write this to myself, to tell truth to my heart and mind, and let it realize that I do know why I cry each night with a confusion deeper and more everlasting than me.

~Forgotten Tear~

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