made you up inside my head.
2:04 a.m.

every time i think that i'm finally okay, something else happens that forces to the surface that i'm not. i hear more things about you that make me smile sadistically, and things that make me hate you even more. and the worst part is that when i see you, i know i have had no effect. you're still the beautiful pathetic boy that everyone wants, and your lips are still the perfect shade of pink--whether i hate you or not. and i choke back the tears every time because i want to be colder than you, more unaffected than you, and i want everyone to know that of the two of us, i will end up the least fucked up in the long run.

i don't hate you for being a horrible person, i hate you because it sickens me to think that anyone could have this kind of power over me.

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