Mr. Clean
2:22 p.m.

Mr. Clean -

I can't remember the day we met, or what we talked about. I don't remember the years flying by or how we got so far. I remember the way you trusted me, and forgave me when I lied. I even remember when you acted like a mime just so I wouldn't cry.

I was looking forward to Christmas. You said you'd come here. Of course in the end you couldn't. Your parents wouldn't allow that. That was my last chance to see you. To feel you by my side. The following year you had bad news. You said "I'm going to die".

I hated you for saying that we had to just be friends. I was your girl for so long and now you wanted it to end. I ran from you and your sickness. I went to visit a friend. I should've gone to you instead.

They put you in the hospital. I couldn't talk to you at all. All I had was messages from your brother to help me along. I sent a card by email. He said it made you smile.

You made it to the new year. You got to see 2001. Even though it was only for a few days. I'll never forget going to my mom's. Or the way she started to cry. My sister found your brothers message. You had finally died.

There was so much I couldn't tell you. So much we missed out on. I think of your daughter often even though I never met her. Its been over a year now and the pain just won't stop. I even think I'm going crazy, driving late at night. I see you in the road and in the backseat. Always smiling and waving your hand. I talk to your brother often. He's fallen in love with me. This could lead to disaster. I'm not sure, but we will see.

I hate that you had to leave, and how I seem to rhyme whenever I try to explain to you, I didn't want you to die. How could cancer take over so fast. You were always so happy and fit. Did they forget to look during your tests? Or was it all a mistake? I hate your doctors and your parents for not noticing the change. You were turning colors and they kept on like it was normal.

I'm glad I could write you. I know your watching me. You always said you'd be there even when I don't see. Doughboy often tells me "he's there all the time" then we joke and smile because we always hope you don't join me in the shower. You're probably laughing too.

love always

your granny

<< - >>