Sorry Again and Again
8:39 p.m.

LJ...

yeah, i've got some apologizing to do again. strange how the worst things i ever do always have something to do with you, and yet you never really know about them. oh well...

i don't know if you heard me when i said this - actually, the idea was that you weren't supposed to - but i regret it, whether you were in earshot or not. i said i didn't care about you - and the likelihood is that i'll go straight to hell for telling the damnedest lie in the world. don't ask why; i guess i was just tired and cranky and hungry, which makes me say things i don't mean.

above all, i was paranoid. i really did think that you didn't care about me, after all we've been through. after weeks of you not talking to me and treating me like a wallflower, i thought that our friendship had finally fallen apart. so that explains my constant depression.

i guess the point of the matter is that i'm sorry, again and again and again, even if i've screwed up once too often and you just can't bring yourself to forgive me anymore, i'm sorry. i can't believe i was stupid enough to think that you would ever stop caring about me in one way or another. and i really regret it.

so if you ever read this, and if you could ever find it in your heart, forgive me. i should never have thought of you that way.

- your lady of tears

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