lofty, lofty endings
10:26 p.m.

little star.

this is the worst hit my heart has ever taken. yet, in a way, the least.

you asked for it, you got it, toyota, that's what i've been thinking. though that isn't write or right or less blunt.

i cower. i make them laugh and sneer and flicker their tongues like snakes upon snakes breaking the ancient legions of anthills. i've forgotten everything and my attention-span is faltering. i'm dying, the real me, she's floundering and falling away. don't leave this shell, please.

i need to hear that at least i failed. do not leave me dithering so.

or be proud, strong, cruel, and dainty as you are.

be the queen. smote me down for asking to be a pawn. strike me into exile. from the eden of curiousity.

push me, push me, push me.

i will not come again to your splendid and carven gates.

i do not question your motives anymore, my soul is weary of it. but that i could have held your gaze again, it would have been more than enough.

even if this never reaches said destination, even if this is all more vanity. thank you, thank you for letting me fall in love with you. i needed to. my incubator was empty. i needed to.

and to further future silence i'll do what i do best, quote, "these lessons are everywhere in my life; you know I never waited for anyone and I was always right, but now I give up, I surrender:

I would wait for you. forever."

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