Kat and Matt forever
10:43 p.m.

In the words of Alanis Morissette...

Dear Matthew, i like you a lot. I realise you're in a relationship with someone right now, and i respect that. Something, something....come visit me in california. I'd be really open to spending some time with you to find out how old you were when you wrote your first song.

In the words of me...

Dear Matthew,

I don't know how to really begin this, because i have so much to say and so little time (and space) to say it. I've been thinking about saying this to you for a while now, but I'm scared in case i push you farther away. Seeing as it's comming up to our one year anniversary of splitting up, i figured it was about time we both got our feelings out in the open.

I want to know how you feel about me. I see the way you look at me, and feel the way you touch me and part of me knows that the feelings are still there between us. I know I still love you with all my heart, i love you so much it hurts and i still cry about how much i want you to want me too. I can't help but still envy Joy with a passion and think that she can't love you half as much as i do. I have to much to offer you and i know where we were going wrong last time. We have both changed and i think if anything we have grown closer. I know you better than you know yourself, and i know that i can tell you absoluetly anything.

I have tried getting over you, but it hasn't worked. I can't imagine my life with anyone else; you are perfect for me. I've tried finding 'the right one', but with everyone person i come across i find fault after fault, because they just don't compare with you.

I can see now that things aren't going too well with joy, and I can see how you're falling for Emma. Despite how much i resent Joy, it's still not fair for you to treat her how you treated me, because if she does care half as much about you as i do, then she'll be crushed.

I want to know what you're thinking when you're with me. Are you just leading me on, and treating me like you would any other girl, or is there still something there. I've got to let it stop, because i can't keep holding on to something that might not be there. If you don't want me anymore then i need to know. I need to know if im being foolish. If i am, then you need to stop treating me like i really mean something to you still. If that is the case, then i need you to let go of me in that way and let me move on and find someone else. I've watched you do and it has sicked me. I can't stand the thought of you with someone else, because in my eyes you're still mine and you always will be.

I can see we're very different people, so perhaps getting back together right now is not for the best, but i know that we are soul mates and that we were meant to be together. I just want a little sign to tell me that there is hope for the future, and that one day we will be together again. I want to grow old with you.

Kat and Matt forever, remember?

xxxxxx

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