everythings finally gonna be ok....
7:52 p.m.

Russell,

Can you believe it? i no longer think about you. isn't it wondeful? you came back from California and told me you had slept with somebody that was in the same hotel as you. her name was Holly (like your little sister) and she was only 18. you're a disgusting pig. you have a 2 year old daughter and you're still having one night stands and going out with the boys after you put her to sleep. you leave her with your mom to go to california where you have a one night stand, when you only get to have her half the time as it is. you're a disgustin pig that needs to grow up.

I came to an epiphany the other night, this whole time, while i was with you and maybe 1 or 2 others, i kept telling myself and you (them) what was wrong and what they needed to do. Telling my friends (Amy) "he needs to fuckin grow up." Amy then responding, "yeah he does."

*laughs*

i can't believe we were ALL that oblivious to my recent epiphany...you didn't need to grow up, i needed to find a guy who was grown up. why saty with you and try to change you? why not find somebody who can make me happy?

so i did.....

Justin,

thank you so much for sticking by me for 3 years. even though we met through the initial boyfriend that wasn't supposed to have me in the first place (Justin: "IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MINE!"). you've always made me feel better when they hurt me and make me cry. you've always been there. waiting. chasing. silently crying. wanting. needing. showing me how much you care. i love you. i'm so happy we're finaly going to be together.

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