this war is pointless
11:10 p.m.

This is because I have no one else who understands.

Paul is my dad's girlfriend's son. I have only met him in person once, but I talk to him all the time. He's smart, and he likes a lot of the same things I do. He has a new girlfriend named Lauren, who I bet is great. He is one of the most interesting and great people I have ever met in my life. He was a geek in high school, even though he was on football, and was really really good. He still is a geek, but hey, he's fun. He understands things a lot of people don't. I think he knows both ends of the spectrum, and that's what makes him so great. Paul is in the army. He told me the last time I talked to him that he might have to go fight. The day after he told his mom, 5 soldiers died in combat. It is my fear, that this incredibly amazing person I had the chance to meet, will die. Or even be injured. And it scares me to death. I have his picture from basic training in my locker and I look at it every day and hope with all my heart, that if, or when, he goes, that he makes it. I know the fighting doesn't seem that bad for our side, but that doesn't mean it couldn't get bad. He has friends over there. And it really makes me wonder...

what's so great about this world after all?

I went to the talent review tonight, and Nada sang "superman" by five for fighting, and I remembered how people said it made them think of September 11th, and it made me think of him, and how much I hope he won't die. For Conny's sake, for his sister Maria's sake, for all his family in Germany's sake, and for mine and my dad's. Let Paul stay home.

~~~~unwished~~~~

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