Please stay away
1:26 p.m.

Rod,

Stay out of my mind. Go away!! I am a married woman now...so in love, but sometimes you pop right in like you belong. I do miss you, sometimes, your funny antics and free will. I am sorry I loved you, would I have traded it for what I have now? I don't think I would, but my memories of you are so...so wonderful. Maybe I just like it when men treat me like you did...like a toy to throw away. Maybe I liked the freedom our relationship gave me to do what I wanted (and who I wanted, for that matter) while I still had you and your smile and your kisses. You know what is funny? I remember so vividly the times we were "together" and tend to forget the times you treated me like crap. Remember watching Legend? I remember your kisses on my neck, your arms around me and your sweet whispers. I remember in the hotel how you came banging on the door as I tried to take a bath. You got so mad because I locked out and then you pushed me against the wall and kissed me....it was all so magical, those moments. Then I remember the other stuff. How you ignored me in public, longed for my best friend and mocked my love for you. You were just a kid, I should have known. I only wish you could see me now, my wonderful husband and all the love he gives me. I wish you were there on our wedding day to see us cry and say our vows to each other. We've watched plenty of movies together while he has whispered into my ear and given me sweet kisses. His arms are around me all the time. But, why, do I still find myself loving you? Grasping to that one strand, those memories that make me tingle? Please go away, stay out of my mind. Let me stop loving you the little that I still do....let my tears wash all these memories away. I hope your happy. I hope your in love. I hope I never see you again.

S.

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