The ringing from this empty sound
9:10 p.m.

I am more fucking confused than I have ever been in my life. What do I do to them that makes them feel this way? What confuses me more is they all seem to get angry with me for being myself. Being open and caring and well, hyper. I keep thinking to myself that I need to completely disapear for a little bit just to connect with myself again, but I never do. I'll try not to come online but certain people I just need to talk to I can't talk to otherwise. Now I've found my solution. Dad. July 8th I will be leaving them all for two free weeks. I love them all with everything I have, more than some of my family, but I feel very "stepped on" and suffocated.

Everytime me and Nick seem okay, I "do" something, and then everyone turns around and accuses me after me and him have made everything okay. It's so frustrating. I didn't do anything, they just think that I did. Screw that.

Andy. I don't even know where to start with what he's done to my head. He makes me so frustrated because I always feel blamed for everything. It almost makes me want to cry.

And Nick is one of my best friends.

Then there are the people I don't want to leave behind. Sam. Kim. Jim. Jesi. I don't want to leave any of them behind. Andy Nick Josh. I just don't know anymore. If somebody knocked me out and I woke up just before I left, and then got knocked out again until school started, I'd be just fine. Summer hurts.

xoxo, Jerlayne of Sunrise

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