Just, kiss me, before you go.
11:49 p.m.

You told me once, you know, I've loved and lost, and that makes it easier this time around. Hearing that made me sad. Losing love shouldnt be somethign that gets easier the more you do it. And you tell me to relax and enjoy, but realxation and enjoying are things you do when you have somethign great to relax and enjoy. And yea, we have something great. And yea, I should relax and enjoy it while I can. But it is that much harder when I know the end get closer everyday. You tell me, nothign is decided yet, but, I'm not stupid, I know what you are looking for, even under all now-and-then hopeful comments about Jr Prom, and I know the Law of Probability is working against me [:(]. But, That is something I can swallow.

Sure, I should let myself fall into you and be happy with what we have now, and know I will be sad when the time calls for it. And yes, I accept that. I should be happy now, and sad when the sad things happen. And I am for the most part. I Am happy about us. And I Will be sad. But you, you right now, in the present tense, seem to have no problem at all with whats soon to be, future tense[:(]. And That, is Not something as easy to swallow.

But hey, just another, love waiting to be lost, and it gets easier everytime anyway, right?

You can tell yourself inyour head, that this is because I am immature, or unexperienced, unhardened, or what you will. But I will tell myself in my head that it is because I know you are the one who is going to let go in a month or so. And don't say to me that, love lives forever in memories. Cause that doesnt justify cutting it short.

And so that is why, because you wanted to know, I sit here in my study crying, quietly, so as not to tip off my father in the room over. And why, when you whisper softly in my ear that you love me, the words don't tread lightly through my mind.

You asked, so I'm telling.

I love you

<< - >>