I want him to love you.
10:05 p.m.

Dear R,

I know you love him. I don't know if you know that I know, but I do. I understand what loving him is like, because you know that I love him too. You used to think that I was bitter and angry with you because you love him, and that's not true... I know that there's a better chance of him ever loving you than there is of him loving me, and I've accepted that. I just hate seeing you upset because it causes you pain.

I wish that you'd be able to stop being as inhibited like you think you are, because I can tell that it's dragging you down. I know that this whole thing is driving you crazy, and I don't want you to go through it. I know it's a necessary part of life, but I can tell how much it's hurting you. You're my best friend; seeing you hurt only hurts me.

Maybe one day we'll both be able to get over him. Or maybe one day he'll love you back.

If he decides to love either of us, I know it'll be you.

I would want it to be you.

Love,

Me

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