oops.
7:32 a.m.

Dear ________ ,

I can't believe I let this happen. From the very beginning I put my guard up against it. I was prepared for it, for God's sake. I boarded up the windows to my emotions and put up fences to keep you at a distance...and that part has worked, I guess, because you seem so far away from me. So very out of reach.

But I should have put fences around you.

I concentrated so hard on keeping you from getting wrong ideas about us that I never once thought about maintaining the ideas in my own head, and now I'm dreaming about you. Would you laugh if you heard that?

Would you chuckle to yourself over the heartless bitch who's melted over you? Would it make you want to grin evilly if you knew that now I can't even be around you because I can never get close enough? Or would my depths of pathetic love for you make you feel sorry for me?

Oh, this wasn't what I expected. I never expected to be unable to control myself...I've never had any problem before. I expected it would be you that we'd have to worry about...shows you how conceited I am, I guess.

This is sad.

Love,

________________

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