im going.
4:56 p.m.

Dear.

I dont know why im writting this. infact i dont know what im about to write. the thing is...im still not over you. its been a while, yet im still here....wishing it was me, wishing i was her. it sounds stupid...but i think i almost love you. maybe its not love, but i know ive never felt this way about anyone else before. not even close to the way i feel about you. and thats why i never knew how to act or what to say... it was all new to me. this feeling...it was new. and i was scared. i was scared you didnt feel the same way. scared you would laugh at me if i told you. scared it would all backfire. so i stayed quiet for so long. pretended i was happy just being friends. but i never was. last year i think it was more lust...but then this year it turned into more then just lust. you ment so much to me.

then finally i decided to tell you how i felt. just go all out and be little miss honest. and that was good....for a short period...until...it did backfire. you went to someone else and just left me hanging here...all alone and unsure of where i was ment to go. i just cried and cried and i actually believed i was never going to stop crying. but eventually i did...most probably because i had no tears left. because i still feel for you. just as much as i always have. and now i hardly exsist to you. and i cant explain how much that hurts me. but i guess thats not your problem. your not worried about me anymore. you worry about her.

I dont know what more to say but you mean so much to me and no one will ever replace that peice in my heart that is waiting for you.

i hope everything works out for you, cos i wont be around to find out. im going. tonite.

xoxoxo

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