forgiveness
10:57 a.m.

I'm sorry for how I treated you in Jr. High. Yeah, I know it's a little late now...now that we're in college and have moved on to something better.

I'm sorry for following you around so desperately just because I felt something for you. And oh shit, did I make you aware of it every waking moment? Even though I never intended to?

I forgive you for ripping my life apart after that. I probably would have done the same, being so young, naive, and unsure of how to handle those emotions. I forgive you for the things you said about me, the rumors you spread, and completely destroying my life as well as my sanity.

Even though after my expression of emotion completely halted you still felt the desire to bring me to more ruin. Whether or not this was something you did to most of your female "friends" I suppose I'll never know.

I apologize about High School. After I refused to speak to you ever again and you kept on trying to be my friend. You kept trying to continue the drama that had died out after Jr. High. Perhaps you thought that kiss was real? That my emotions were more than a schoolgirl crush? I don't know. And the way you were determined to end any relationship I ever had...it makes me wonder sometimes how you really felt. Maybe we could have been friends again, but we weren't. I couldn't trust you after what you had done to me.

You had so many problems, so much drama. I almost wish I could have offered more sympathy when I heard you tried to slit your wrists...but I couldn't even be sure if that was true. You liked to lie so much. And that insulted someone like me who faced her own suicidal wishes everyday since Jr. High...thanks to how you treated me. I'm still angry and upset at you because of how you turned my life into a yo-yo and played my emotions for the hell of it.

Now I'm beginning to understand.

And I forgive you.

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