That Girl Is Not Me
6:09 p.m.

To You

A long time ago, I thought that I would have liked to be in a relationship. Everyone else was doing it... why shouldn't I? I'm young, I'm daring, and you were available.

But things turned to the worst when I found out you liked me in return. Of course, I thought that you'd be my one and only for a long time. Of course, that wasn't true. I know that I said things behind your back that would have driven any weaker person insane. I stabbed you in the back and took out your heart and threw it on the ground, and stepped on the pieces and drove them into the carpet.

And you know what? I did not feel guilty.

Now I do.

I am truly sorry for anything painful I have caused. But you are strange; you tell me that you will never ever speak to me again and then you turn around thirteen seconds later asking for forgivness. I should be the one asking for it. But I'm not.

I don't ever want to see you again. I want us to go our seperate ways and live our seperate lives. That's impossible, though. We WILL see each other again. I just ask you this: do not put me on a pedistal. I am not perfect. I am not the one to trust, and you know it. Ask any husband or wife if they married the first person that they ever dated, and most will probably say no. I am not yours anymore. I never was.

There will be others. Someday you will find a wonderful, fantastic girl that is beautiful both in body and mind, someone to match your insatible urge for knowledge. She will find you charming and forgiving and wild and interesting. You will love her, and she will love you back and you will stay with her and live with her for the rest of your life.

But that girl is not me.

She will never be me, even if you thought so at one time.

Don't call me beautiful anymore.

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