a letter to no one
3:33 a.m.

my confession

i'm not the person you think i am. i am not good or wise or moral or strong. i am hollow and so desperate to feel something that i allow my body, my mind, my heart to be used by anyone who feigns some semblance of love. one moment's soft touch makes me believe that i'm worth something right up until i walk out the door and drive home to an empty apartment, a lonely bed. i want something real but when i get close, i realize it's not enough. one is not enough to fill the gaping hole where my heart should reside. i need more, more, more. more touches, more kisses, more poems, more declarations that i'm special, i'm worthy, i'm desirable, i'm loved.

i'm going to crash and burn, and anyone around who claims to love me will undoubtedly go down with me.

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