im sorry
9:31 a.m.

K,

I wish I could let myself love you. If you still want that. But I just can't be hurt again. My heart's been broken so many times, there's but a small shard left for me. I'm sorry you had to fall for me, I wish you wouldn't have. You or the other one.

Why did I pursure that relationship? I feel like I've hurt you two more than I can ever know, but it hurt me as well. Aren't I full of myself.

I wish I would just shut up and say "ok, let's just see what happens" or something similar and we can be happy, together, if only for a short time. But I can't. How many times do I feel I need to say that before I can prove it to myself. Why is just about everything I say to me?

I do love you, but I just can't be loved. Goddamn fear. I am such a weakling.

~A

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