Crazy little mess called love
11:02 a.m.

What a mess, honey, huh?

How do you feel? How do I feel?

Standard 'highschool crushes' have never got me very far. Been on a grand total of one date, and that was only because I couldn't figure out a way to get to know the guy otherwise. They all think that me and a guy I'll call Kevin (for anonymity's sake) are the perfect couple, it is most irritating. Worse, in fact, than the time that the boy who's been infatuated with me for ages texted me and the girls at work read it out (and interpreted it) in front of the guy I went on a date with.

It's irritating, because although I like Kevin, the situation's too perfect for him. We'll be in the same place, we get on, and he's a Christian. I don't think you are... But the imperfect, crazy situation is all I have for you...

When I asked you the other day who it was you'd liked for such a long time, that was meant to be the prelude to us having a cute teen movie moment. No, I'm not surprised that it was Lisa you liked for such a long time, but John was sure you had a 'crush' on me, seeing as it might have been the last time I could see you, I was hoping that, if you did have a 'crush', you'd recklessly confess it...

Because - how do I put it? Love seems too strong, melodramatic. Crushes and 'fancying' seem weak and almost irrelevent. Don't you remember that time I saw you in the street and I ran outside with no shoes on just because I wanted to chat to you before you went home? Maybe that says something about how I feel. And if I wasn't moving away so soon, by now I would have asked you out, and then I started to think, because of John, that you felt the same way, so I was excited and terrified...

I don't want us to break our hearts over something that could never happen, but if only there was a chance that something could... I miss you already.

Love,

Me.

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