Farewell Gift
8:43 p.m.

DRC,

We're a divorce waiting to happen, after only a few weeks. It was my worst fear but somehow I managed to convince myself that it would all be okay, that somehow things would be different.

But the truth is that I hurt people. I don't mean to and even make a conscious effort not to, but it always ends the same way. Maybe by gift is to be able to advise other people on their relationships, but to have any attempt at love for myself end in disaster. At least I'm left with material for my tragedies, though. Even now I try to look at the glass as half full.

It's not your fault that we'll never work. Perhaps all of the blame lies with me - maybe I'm just inherently f*cked up. I look at you with love, but it's devoid of any mystery or passion. Now instead of your kindness and tender heart I see softness, laziness and greed. That's no way to be.

But you.. I know that you can't tell. I can't tell you. I'll pay for it later but all I can think of right now is to give us these final moments. To give you your dream, your iddyll. Even if the price is my pound of flesh. You deserve it.

MRJ

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