To you, Golden girl
6:58 p.m.

Dear "C" [The sender of 'Golden Boy']

When I read your letter, as I daily do read the new letters-anonymous.. I saw myself in your words. It was the same thing I had been secretly writing letters to my mom about; strategically placing them in my room, where I knew she searched. She never trusted me. She never cared to.

And when she looked under my bed, finding a box full of random prescription medicine I had stolen from her and my father's nightstand, she did nothing more than dispose of it. Without a word of her discovery.

I wanted her to find them. I NEEDED her to find them.

I just needed her to see how sick I was.

I was sickly, after suffering from anorexia and losing 20 lbs. I was pitiful, after losing all interest in school and athletics. I was depressed. And there was nothing I could, or even wanted to attempt to do about it.

I didn't care.

And neither did she.

That's what hurt.

When I overheard her speaking to her friends, boasting about her children's latest accomplishments.. my name was never included. It was always my brother's name, and his art, which is also donned on every wall of our house.

I even took a Drawing & Painting course in school, leading me to win the Art Excellence award out of my whole class of 250 other freshmen. Nothing worked. Nothing ever did.

Even when I was caught, sneaking out, she didn't even care to yell. She just treated me as a pest; nothing but a mere fly, buzzing in her ear.

I hope that you can save yourself and your relationship from this.

Say something. Say anything.

And if not for you, think of me, and let that be the reason!

Don't let yourself feel low because of her.

I made that mistake..

And I would do anything to take it back now.

I admire you. And you know what?

I think you're awesome!

--eMiLy

[http://bootyfull.diaryland.com]

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