i feel like a whore
8:47 p.m.

z~

I thought this whole friends with benefits thing would work out fine. We'd still be friends, we'd still go on the occasional date, and we'd still get the "perks." Then why do I feel like a cheap whore? I never had sex with you, you never asked for that, and you knew I wouldn't anyway. You were the first one I really cared about, and we did a bunch of things for the first time for both of us. You say that we can just call each other up when we feel like hooking up, and I call you to see if we can hang out like normal friends without doing anything. What do I do? I screw it all up, we end up making out, and doing some other stuff. Then you leave without even a hug or kiss goodbye. Now I'm sitting here going, why the hell did I think this would work? I didn't even get much on my end, actually I did all of the giving if you want to get technical. So, I sit here, technically single, but hooking up with my exboyfriend now friend with benefits, but why do I feel like such a whore? I guess it's because technically we're not together and we still do stuff. I still like you, and you still like me, and you proceed to tell me how much it "wouldn't work" if we went out again. It makes me wonder whether you're just using me, or what your true motives may be for this all. Because if you really don't care, then I don't think I can ever even look at you again. Yea, I did it all consensually, but it was because I care about you alot and I thought it was reciprocated. Now I'm not so sure.

~b

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