a redeemed fucktard
11:05 a.m.

Dear fucker,

Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, just when you let me down for the last time, you come and redeem yourself by doing something wonderful like coming to surprise me with a surprise double-mega-chocolate birthday cake.

Today I am seventeen years old.

It is the first day of the rest of my life.

All is right with the world.

Well, nearly all. Once I have my revenge on the rest of you fuckers who didn't even bother to PHONE me, then it will be perfect.

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