R.A.C.E.
9:54 p.m.

Dear _________,

Who can I trust? What do I believe? Sometimes there are moments...moments when we are so seemingly close, and moments when I have so much love for you in my heart that it blocks out all the sadness that fills it every day. But then...other times...there are moments like today that shatter those silly dreams into a thousand foolish pieces. You show me that I might not know you so well after all, or you show me that maybe all of the good that I feel is only something that I feel...we are not as close as we seem sometimes, I guess. You say that you are tired of having friends that only do nice things for you because they want something in return...but I have never wanted anything from you except for a little consideration, a little respect, and maybe a tiny bit of friendship. Your money, your advice, any favors that you might do me...you can keep them all. All I really want is to be able to look into your eyes and believe what you tell me to be true...I want this doubt, and this uncertainty to vanish...I want you to squash the worry that rears its ugly head whenever it gets the chance. I want to be certain of you. But it doesn't happen.

I just give, and you just take, and then you cast me aside like I don't matter...and I laugh and shrug it off, telling myself that I am just overreacting and being too sensitive.

But maybe I'm wrong...

Who can I trust if I can't trust myself?

Love, in spite of you,

__________

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