reality vs. a dream i had once
7:43 a.m.

Dear ______,

yeah, i still love you. i still think about you every other minute of every day. i still draw pictures of you, and i still dream of you, and i still wish you would come to your senses and love me the way i wish you would but you won't. this ache in my heart, and this hole in my gut, and this confusion in my head are still owed to you. my love still kills me slowly with its severity. none of that's changed. i would still do anything you asked me to, and i do every day in case you haven't noticed. and i would still give you anything that you desire that's within my power to create, buy, steal, borrow...name it. none of that's changed either.

but i'll tell you what has...

guys have been asking me out lately. i don't know what it is...i have dry spells and then all at once they're asking right and left. and well, if i can find the one who makes me stop thinking of you and your needs for even a full minute i am going to snatch him up. i'm still going to be here for you in every capacity that i have been...except i'm not going to care as much that you won't come to your senses and love me the way i wish you would. i'm going to have a distractor...someone who wants me for a change. maybe i have all the wrong reasons for dating right now, but at least they're making me get out there...get out from underneath you and see the world...i had forgotten what all was out here. but don't worry, i'll still love you no matter what.

some things never change.

love,

___________

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