yeah, this is how it is
3:34 p.m.

Hey,

I just want you to know that I had fun. There were a lot of laughs, and a lot of good times, and I just want you to know that I enjoyed our time together immensely. For so long before I met you things seemed bleak. They seemed hopeless. They seemed doomed from the very beginning. But then just like in all the stories...you were there. And we were friends before we even knew what had happened...and I was in love with you before I even recognized my my own aching heart. So in love with you. But we were friends, and that was great...there were moments when our minds seemed interlocked, there were times when I felt so connected to you...it was something I'd never really had before, and it was just wonderful. Even now I can remember watching you sleep (you didn't know I was watching, but uner the circumstances how could I not?)...you were and are more beautiful than my poor limited vocabulary could ever hope to describe. Just looking at you filled me up. I could have spent forever there.

But forever is not for me, as I often told you during our year of togetherness. There are always circumstances...there are always choices that must be made for the greater good...it's just the way things are coming around again. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I ignore it, and sometimes I just cling to listless strands of hope...but things don't change. I change, but things never do.

And so, somewhere in this confusing letter there is a goodbye hiding. It's a goodbye for you, but it doesn't really want to be found. It lurks in the shadows of my soul and prays to be overlooked, but I know the truth. I know that you must go just as everyone else has before you. We were not meant to be together forever. That's just not the way things are. And, though it breaks my heart to think of the lonely days ahead of me...I have had lonely days before. You have a life, you have a heart and a soul that are yours to spend whichever way you choose. You have to go and live.

I've loved you, and I always will.

-D