A letter to a lost friend...
2:46 a.m.

M-

You called me again tonight. I'm so confused by you. I really don't know what to think.

Based on the way you've been acting, I don't think you're over me. Not nearly. And I don't know how to take that.

Sure, I was probably stupid for hoping that there was a chance we could be 'just friends'. But, it's so hard to let someone out of your life forever. We've known each other for nearly six years. Six years is a very long time. It's too long to just let the entire relationship dissolve.

So what do I do?

I want to move on. In fact, I have. I'm not in love with you anymore. Sure, I still care about you. I care about you more than I've cared about anyone in my life. I would have, and probably still would, do anything for you.

But I can't deal with the cynicism. I can't deal with your absolute negativity. It's unhealthy for me to be around someone who is so completely self-absorbed.

We talked for three hours tonight.

Not once did you ask me how I was doing.

You mentioned that your 'friends' never ask you how you're doing anymore. And that's because you don't care about them. You said so yourself. You may think they don't know, but they do. Oh... they do. People can tell. They're not stupid.

It's not all that hard to pick up on that 'hatred' vibe you've got going. You despise everyone. Including yourself. And that's why you're so unhappy. That's why you can't stand to be around others when they're enjoying themselves.

I really hope you find yourself.

I know how lost you are.

Maybe if you just take a step back... and look at what you're doing.

You say you don't have any friends. That's because you push them all away. You call them stupid. To their faces. You don't recognize any sign of intelligence in them. You feel superior, and you act as if you are.

Perhaps you do have some superiority over them. But how many people want to be around someone who treats them like the dirt on their shoes?

So, until you can see what you're doing to those that you "care about", I don't think I can be around you.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to have to distance myself from you. There's too much negative energy around you. You're going to end up being a sad little man with no friends.

You've always said you wanted to live out in the mountains somewhere. By yourself.

Maybe you should try it for a while. See if you learn the value of friendship.

The world isn't out to get you.

I promise.

But if you want love and respect, you have to be willing to give a little.

I hope that someday we can re-kindle our friendship. I truly do care about you.

See you on the dark side of the moon,

JDM

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