To A Boy
12:33 p.m.

Dear Boy,

You don't know me, but I see you every day. I pass you in the hallway at the same time day after day. That used to be a time I looked forward to with all my heart and soul. A time I would place all other thoughts aside and concentrate on only you as you passed, nearly in slow motion.

It was my favorite time of day for four months. A chunk of my life devoted almost entirely to you. But my devotion was secret. The way I felt toward you, those undeniable feelings of desire some label as having a �crush�. But this was much more. You were much more.

It�s funny how I never noticed you before that cold night in December. I had seen you before, plenty of times, since we�re in the same graduating class. But I had never really looked at you. It only took a nudge and a whisper from a complete stranger for my eyes to be set on your form, and realize something I never had before. It was a feeling that�s quite hard to explain, but it set something off in me. Like a ball of light had illuminated inside my heart, causing my skin to glow.

From that moment on, it was like you were it for me. The answer to everything. But I couldn�t tell anyone of my secret. I was so afraid that my friends wouldn�t approve of you, that I began to pull away from them, scared that I would accidentally spill my secret. All of my friends kept asking me what was wrong, kept telling me that I was beginning to act weird, different almost. But nothing had changed in my mind. To me, it was like I had found my own secret angel. And I wanted to keep you all to myself.

You were always set upon a pedestal in my mind. Something like a Greek God. And I couldn�t think of you as anything else, since that was the image you held. And nothing could change my mind about you. I was set in the idea that you were the perfect guy. It wasn�t until later that I realized how wrong I was.

Because I never said anything, never stepped up and confessed my feelings to you, I never got the chance to get to know you. The real you. The one all of your friends see. The one I wanted to know the most. But because of my shyness and lack of common sense, I figured you were exactly how I thought you were. Exactly how I wanted you to be.

And that�s how it went for those four months. I guess you could say I became obsessed with you. Infatuated. I would always want to tell my friends about the times that I saw you that day, but never did. Did you know how hard that was for me? No, I guess you wouldn�t. I don�t even think you knew my name. I bet you still don�t. But that�s all in the past now.

My feelings for you changed about 2 weeks ago. I was thinking, and came upon the question of why I liked you. And I didn�t know how to answer it. There was no specific reason that I was attracted to you. And that�s when it hit me. If I didn�t even know why I had those feelings for you, there was no reason to have them. It was if at that second, that ball of light faded out, leaving a burn. And I knew it was over. I was free.

And now that our senior year is almost gone, I just wanted to thank you. Thanks for everything, and thanks for nothing. You gave me something to hold on to, a feeling of knowing I had something, even if the something was a fake image. It gave me comfort in times of confusion and sadness. I wish you all the luck in the world in the life waiting before you. May you grow up to be the man I know that you can be.

I�ll never forget you.

- A Girl

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