what do i mean to you
2:02 a.m.

R~

i want to know what happened? i want to know what i did to deserve you breaking my heart... you talk about all your ex-girlfriends in the highest respect, but i have the feeling that i'm nothing to you... yeah you tell me that i mean something to you, even if it is just as a friend... but sometimes i just really wonder... do i honestly mean anything to you? you treat me like shit sometimes and then other times you treat me wonderful, but it's only because you want something... except for those few times when we get to spend time one on one together... then you're just like you used to be... you're the guy i feel in love with... i often think that if we spent time together a lot more often then things would be just like they used to be... in your eyes i would still be your baby because that's how you treat me when we're in each other's presence especially if it's just the two of us... when i move home and we do get to spend more time together i wonder if things will change and go back to the way they used to be or if we'll continue in the direction we're headed, which isn't a direction i like too much... how come for any other girl you will take time off from work, but me nope... the only time you've ever taken special time off for me was that one time you came down to visit me for a weekend, but that wasn't because i asked or even really wanted you to... it was because you wanted to... you had it set in your mind to come see me... but ever since then (even while we were still together) i came second to your job... which is odd because all the other girls you date or have asked on a date, you make sure you have a certain day or time off just to see them, but no not me... you come see me if you happen to have a day off or you come as soon as you get off work... and if i make a special trip out to see you, you don't even ask to get off, i mean if they ask you to stay you say sure and then you apologize to me for me making the trip and not even gettin to spend time with you... it's like i don't really matter to you at all, yet you say that i do... well i don't see it... so either start showing me that i do or admit the truth, which is the fact that i don't mean anything to you... i need to know, so tell me

i love you, L

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