it will never stop..
1:16 p.m.

dear kenon

If you only knew how much you have fucked up my life, i have tried to tell you but then i dont go to far casue i don't want to pour my heart out to you. let me tell you how you have tormented me and made me become weaker but alot stronger too.

It all started 2 years ago in the summer we talked ALOT and you liked me ALOT and i liked you but then i felt like i was to good for you. But i really don;t get why you liked me i was some naive girl who listened to nysnc when you listened to good music such as frank zappa and the doors and so on. but you sitll liked me, you didnt judge me by my music, clothing or my friends. i was considered a prep and you were the opposite. but we talked and liked each other all trhough summer but nothing become of it. then school started i still liked you and you still liked me and we had alot of classes together and myself still being caught up in my image i didn't talk to you and you didnt talk to me cause you were shy. we still talked online but never at school. THATS when you started likeing my bestfriend and i realzed i lost soemthing i truly did love. i had loved you sense that summer just never relazed it. but after half of that shcool year i truly thought i was over you.

then summer went by we didnt talk... i thought you hated me and you had a good reason. then at teh begging of this school year i started talking to you.. you claimed you never hated me and we should be friends again. BUt now i had grown so much sense last year.. i liked the same msuic as you..my image didnt matter that much to me. we were almost perfect for each other.. and then about 4 months ago you said you liked me again i was overjoyed and i relazed i had never stoped loving you.. you were always an obession with me. so when you started likeing me again we started talking and you relazed how much we had in common and thats when it all went down hill.

you started quizing me, you thought i really didnt like the same things as you , andi was just trying to impress you. and i truly wasent. of course you were caught in your egoistical self that you claim you never have been.

then i started doing the same things as you.. such as drinking and smoking pot and soo on. we ended up at the same gatherings. and you all of a suden hated me. you hated the idea that was were perfect for each other you were scared of a relatiohsip. so then you tried to find flaws in me. you would call me a poser, annoying, too preety for you? WHAT THE FUCK kennon?? i thought you didnt care about things like that.. i'm sick of your exuses.. now your looking for a perfect girl. you will never find one. im sick of saving my self for you. but i keep doing it.

but then all of a sudden you hated me..

and weirdly enough thats when i was even more obessed with you. and i know why.....

you were always my challenge kell you pushed me farther and farther.. y ou are one smart guy without knowing you are. i highly doubt you planned me to be complety obessed over you.. but i am. lately i have been getting anything i have wanted.. but you.. you help me strive for a goal you are my goal.. thanks you have made me a better person in soo many ways.. kennon you amde me habe a struggle.. you changed me from being a femme fatale to someone who is real. i love you.. but i hate you even more.

irene

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