no longer
8:35 a.m.

When I think about the things I put up with from you, I curse myself inside. I curse myself for looking the other way at you not being there for me, and for ignoring me when I needed you the most. When I think about the way I was mistreated, I turn the gun inward, because I guess in all reality, it is my fault. I should have kicked your ass to the curb at the first glimpse of the horror you actually are. I should have known better, and even when I did know better, I loved you too much to let go.

I'm standing on my own now, and content all the while. And you will never be able to hurt me again. Because, when it come down to it, I am stronger than you. I am stronger than your torture, and mind games, and total lack of regard for anyone but yourself. And even when I thought I needed you the most, I didn't really. All I really needed was faith in myself, and the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

And when you criticized them, I should have taken a stronger stand. I should have yelled, screamed, fought for them like they fought for me. "Don't put up with that shit." They all said to me. And even when I didn't listen, they comforted me and were there for me to listen to me and to offer words of support.

I no longer need you. I no longer need the you that I thought you were.

And thank God for that.

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