i just needed you to know
10:44 p.m.

I don't want you to hate me for what I'm going to do. I just need you to know that, for once, I want to make my own mistakes just so I can learn, and know what that all feels like. I can't just listen to people tell me of heart ache, and love, and life and be ok with that. I can't turn off the longing that I have to try it all out for myself. I wish I could, believe me. The logic that's inside me knows it will save me so much time...

But, sadly, I'm just a small, teenage girl.

And that concurs all logic.

I do know how hard it is for you. I know how much you care about me. Most of all, I know you don't want to see me hurt. I don't want to see me hurt.

Don't be sorry, my darling, for wanting to protect me. I want to protect you just as much. I wanted to protect you on that night a few years ago, before I even knew you. I wanted to protect you for the hurt I knew you'd feel if he moved away. I love that you want to protect me. Please believe that.

I truly feel all of this will make me happy. I wouldn't agree to it if I didn't.

I don't think you know I love you. I do. If I didn't, I would've listened to my mother.

I know I'll never be alone. There's no one else I'd rather have at my side.

I just want you to know that I will be careful, I will try my best not to get hurt. No promises, because nothing is ever for certain, but I will try.

I'm just so glad to hear that you are here, with me, side by side. "to march into hell for a heavenly cause"

And, Emily...

I know

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