what do i want
10:49 a.m.

I wish that I could figure out what I want and actually get it. Sometimes I'm so lonely, then I get in a relationship and feel smothered and suffocated. There's nothing perfect for me. With ***** I was a little suffocated, but it was a good suffocated. I wanted to be with him everysecond of everyday. Then all Hell broke loose. But with ****** we didn't have time alone. Only 1 date in our 2 years, and it was to see more friends perform. We were always around friends, or at my house with my family. And now I know how badly needed alone time is. I get desperate right about now, to where I'd date anyone, anyone that asked. But noone's asking. When I'm with someone, they ask. But when I'm not, they don't.

Isn't that messed up?

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