Fanfiction warps the mind
11:36 p.m.

It's a damn pain feeling horny when you're a virgin. Especially when you have stupid dreams.

Last night I dreamt that Professor Snape from Harry Potter told me that my virginity made me a liability in the war against Voldemort, and he would have to relieve me of it.

The really worrying thing is, I know people who would pay to have a dream like that.

Fanfiction Snape is actually nothing like J.K. Rowling's Snape anyway. He's sweet, kind, funny, and very good in bed. I don't know why most Snape writers have to write erotica, it's almost infuriating. I'm pretty certain that Snape would be awful in bed. He'd be frigid as hell.

In any case, I am still a dream-virgin - he couldn't get an erection.

Thank goodness for that.

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