obsession
9:58 p.m.

Dearest of the dear,

"I often find myself thinking of things in the past. Things that I've acquired, lost, been given, and given away. I don't know if it is for chance or karma that it happens that way, but I don't know why I gave up the things I did. Perhaps that's my journey in life, looking to find something or somebody which I've lost, and maybe that will make me happy." -unknown

I often think about you and wonder what the hell happend. Why did we get this far at all? Why have we pretended to be something we're not the whole way through?

It started 6 years ago, do you remember? I met you and you met me. I fell for you in an instant and it took you two years to want a hug from me (which I declined). Our first year of high school was mixed emotions and me staring at you while you played bass guitar. I had boyfriends, some of which I liked, but you constantly stayed in my mind and maybe in my heart. Summer before Junior year we hit a fling period.. I doubt either of us will forget that. And for some reason, we never really got together.

I can remember the one time when I was really truly happy with you. It was in May, in Staci's basement. You and I were huddled under a comfortor watching movies and just being happy sharing the space together. That was the moment when I knew exactly what I wanted from life.

I wanted you.

You only give me room to think about you, look at you, laugh with you. We barely even talk anymore unless it's a joke. I go out of my mind wanting to be with you. Every day I see you is like being a prisoner of war. I'm stuck, and I can't get out.

You keep me at arms length, and I want to be closer.

I know, that you're not good.. you cheat on your girlfriends, you smoke, you drink.. you're awful. I love you, and I'll be damned if love isn't blind.

Hurt in the most wonderful of ways,

anon

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