I put our friendship to the test
3:07 a.m.

Sometimes I feel I should tell you things, but I'm not sure what I'm trying to say and in turn, how to say it. I love you with every essence of my being but then I realise that it isn't just you on the receiving end of this. I can think of many people who make me ache in such a way. I used to be without any real close friends and now I have a number of you who have the power to make me laugh non stop or cry for no reason and I can stay up all night talking to you about things that don't matter but somehow feel like they need to be said.

There was a time when I barely knew you and I guess right now I hardly know you in the true meaning of knowing someone but I feel like you are a part of my life that is essential to my existence and I'm not entirely sure how I got by without you before.

I'd put a name at the top of this but I'm not sure who I would address it to, the above applies to so many people in my life. I'd post this on my diary but it exposes too much of me and I think it would probably cause a fair amount of embarassment and people assuming incorrect things and jumping to inaccurate conclusions. If I had the option, however, I would shut this in a box with everything that reminds me of you and preserve it for eternity so that someone could experience the truth and beauty that is us no matter how ugly it seems to outside eyes as well as our own. For beauty is a widely used word with many meanings and without you my life would be anything but beautiful. So if anything, this is a thankyou note. Thankyou for making me think, smile, laugh, cry, talk, act but most of all thankyou for being in my life and making it that little bit more easier to live in.

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