Failure!
10:57 p.m.

Someone has read my mind. Looking at the entries, I came across one entitled crashing and burning, and it took me about 5 minutes of staring at the screen with my jaw dropped before I finally decided that I hadn't written that without knowing it. It's so perfect, it explains exactly how I feel. I was feeling exactly the same way at exactly the same time. I know exactly what that person is going through.

Oh, the failure. Oh, the injustice.

I think it would be appropriate to add a "Woe is me" to that sequence, but I won't because I don't give a shit, there is nothing to feel sorry for. It doesn't matter at all that my pride has been crushed and my world turned upside down. It doesn't matter. That's what I'll tell myself.

No one can understand how crushed I am right now. Last time this happened to me, they at least led me on for a while, humored me a bit. This time it was a straight out NO. Get the hell out. You are not wanted here and never will be. Oh yeah, you can take your untalented ass to the bus stop and cry as much as you want, and we will never acknowledge it, because you are so untalented, you mean nothing to us. We are cruel, heartless bastards, but kiss our asses anyway, because that's the only way you can get anywhere with us. We will pretend everything is perfect. We will rub it in your face. We will ignore your feelings. We need not acknowledge you at all because you disgust us with your lack of talent and ass-kissing ability. Oh, you're crying again? Well WE don't care, because no one can top our inconsiderate, unsympathetic, bastardness. So don't you even make an effort anymore, because you'll never be good enough. We hold your self-esteem in our hands, and we will crush it as often as we feel necessary, which is very often. *Crush* Oh yes, you didn't even make it into chorus. *Crush* On our list you are below T_______ and M__ ___. *Crush* But if your lucky (and can satisfactorily kiss ass/perform sexual favors) we might need some back up chorus parts.

How can I be talented when all the proof is right there? I am lower than the lowest of the low.

How incredibly pitiful.

(Again, note the appropriateness of a "Woe is me".)

Why couldn't people keep lying to me about having talent? I was so much happier.

Oh, I'm just gonna say it.

WOE IS ME!

I'm pathetic for thinking this.

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