I'm so cold now.
4:27 a.m.

I don�t love you.

I don�t think about you all the time or wonder why we aren�t dating anymore.

I don�t daydream about our wedding or about our future or our children.

I can hear about your one night stand without feeling even the tiniest amount of jealousy or anger.

That�s how far we�ve come baby. All that way to get to here.

But sometimes I still think of you and my heart goes soft and I crave you.

I crave the feeling of comfort and safety I have when we�re lying together in bed. When I fall asleep with your body wrapped around mine secure in the knowledge that when I wake up, we won�t have moved an inch.

I crave the familiarity that comes with time and intimacy and history.

I crave your voice, your hands, your lips, your laugh..

I crave us.. And yet I wouldn�t date you. Despite how wonderful you are.

I want to have that comfort, that intimacy, that history.

I want to have the looks and the wordless understanding.

I want to have all that we have and more..

I want to have that with someone else. Someone I can love. Someone I can have forever with. Someone like you.. But not you.

How fucked up is that?

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