To Panyd.
6:08 p.m.

Fionna / Elena / Panyd.

Oh Fi!

How can I say all this to you? How can I tell you how much you hurt me? You read my diary as I read yours, I have nowhere to go. And even now, I don't know how to make all of this pain go away!

You think I fancy your boyfriend. Ok , yes you're right, maybe I do. But what do you want me to do, tell you so? I'd never, you know that I wouldn't because I don't know what you'd do! I love you to absolute peices hun, there is no one in this world who means more to me than you. And because of this, I have pushed you away. I know, and I'm so sorry. There is so much that has changed tho. At one point the world with Matt in and the world with me in were so separtate, but now, God, I'm too close to him!

If I could say anything to you, I'd want to say that I am so sorry for everything. For pushing you away, because I know that really you do care. For letting my parents read that, because I know that that was for my eyes only. For liking your boyfriend, because I know that you love him and I merely like him. For not letting you in, because I understand that I have to trust you to keep this friendship going. But mainly, for blaming you, because I do.

I can't tell you this Fi, in fact, if it wasn't for Matt's advice, my stubbornness would have won through and I wouldn't even have spoken to you. But I have to say something. You know, I fell for you a long time ago, and I'm still not over that initial shock, that initial innate love. But more than anything, I want to be your friend. I'm going to try so hard, and try and get this back to how it was before. Ilove ya hun.

Carley.

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