Forget Everything
11:46 p.m.

Dear wawa,

I'm sick of pretending that you aren't under my skin. I can't pretend to not have feelings for you still. I don't understand why you do this to me. Why do you have to affect me? Why do I have to keep pretending that your actions don't affect me? Truth is they do affect me, and it's not that I want them to. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, you always seem to hurt me.

I know that you don't mean it. I know that you aren't going out of your way to hurt me. But, I also know that you have no feelings at all toward me anymore. It's as if I could decide to jump off a cliff tomorrow, and you wouldn't shed a tear. You would have no emotion towards it. What is so bad about having emotion? You always have this wall in front of you, to prevent you from feeling anything or anyone else from feeling anything from you.

I wish I could just forget about you. I wish I could forget your name, forget I ever knew you. All I ever get from you now is pain, awkwardness, and loneliness.

Why did you come to my house that night? Why did you come to my house the other day? I shouldn't have allowed you to do that to me again. No one should do that to anyone. You use me then ignore me, like you aren't even my friend. I guess it's my fault. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I should have known.

I just wish I could accept that and move on, not be stuck still thinking about you, still wasting my thoughts and my tears. Why can't you just let me forget about you? Don't call me, don't come to my house, don't approach me if you see me. I don't want to see you again. I just want to forget you. Is that so much to ask?

-kris

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