Leave Me Be
3:48 a.m.

M-

I honestly don't know what i was thinking. I really don't understand how I could be so DUMB. You mean NOTHING to me, and really i hardly know you. It's funny saying that because I feel like i should, considering I've "known you" for like two years now. And, well, from what I DO know about you, I certainly know that I don't like you in "that way". You are sooo the complete opposite of what I like in a guy. I don't even think I could ever have a real, deep conversation with you. But I'm stupid, and I crave affection like mad. I'm in love with the feeling of being loved. I always react when a guy shows any interest in me because 1. i'm amazed that someone would actually have interest in ME of all people, and 2. the feeling of being held, and wanted is the best thing in the world to me. I don't know. Maybe I let things with you happen because I could get that feeling, but not worry about being hurt because you can't get hurt by someone you don't care about. But now I don't know what to do. Hopefully you'll stop calling me. Hopefully all this will just drift away and be forgotten. Luckily I don't have to see you everyday like before. I just hope that HE doesn't find out about anything. Just go back to your life of partying and playing girls, and let me go back to my life of being with the people i love and missing...the other one. You make me feel slutty, and i HATE IT. i absolutely HATE the way I feel around you, so please just leave me be.

it's funny. If all this had happened two years ago, I would be floating on a cloud. Funny how things change...

-J

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