What to say?
6:39 p.m.

Here we are.

Nothing is concrete, everything can change.

What will we make of this? What will it become. I'm afraid because I don't know. It's human nature to fear the unknown, but I can't help but think it's a sign that I should walk away right now.

Fear = Fight or flight... I feel like I should flee. Do I have the energy, the determination, the will, to fight? If I tried, would I lose?

But what am I losing if I don't try?

Does it come down to timing? Is it just a question of when we will find ourselves hurt and abandoned? I know I'm giving the sentence before it is warranted, but do we want the pain now or later? Nothing lasts forever right?

Cryptic messages flash through my mind. They are subliminal, below the threshold. What do I make of them, these almost instinctual revelations that cross my mind? I can't tell if it's beyond emotion, or too shallow to be recognized as emotion. Desire? Fear? Longing?

It's is none of those. I can't tell you exactly how I feel because there are no words. It is beyond (or below) expression.

The police say it best:

"Don't think me unkind

Words are hard to find

The only cheques I've left unsigned

From the banks of chaos in my mind

And when their eloquence escapes me

Their logic ties me up and rapes me

"De do do do, de da da da

Is all I want to say to you

De do do do, de da da da

Their innocence will pull me through

De do do do, de da da da

Is all I want to say to you

De do do do, de da da da

They're meaningless and all that's true

"Poets, priests and politicians

Have words to thank for their positions

Words that scream for your submission

And no one's jamming their transmission

'Cos when their eloquence escapes you

Their logic ties you up and rapes you

"De do do do, de da da da

Is all I want to say to you

De do do do, de da da da

Their innocence will pull me through

De do do do, de da da da

Is all I want to say to you

De do do do, de da da da

They're meaningless and all that's true"

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