she might convince you she feels it...
6:19 p.m.

You confuse me. Both of you.

I left you behind one after the other with the knowledge that I'd fucked it up mostly of my own accord, and I never expected to talk to either of you again, not really.

One year on, and you started emailing me, saying you'd missed me and had no-one to talk to about the things we used to share. One year on, and you seem to want my attention, where you never did before. And I don't really get it.

You both want something from me that I don't think is what I want you to want, and I don't know what to give in return.

I know I shouldn't love you still, but I do, and so everything I say to you is carefully filtered to make sure I don't cross the lines we've drawn. And I almost wish I could love you still, but I don't, and although I kind of want your attention to flatter my vanity, it's not you I dream of and it's not you I regret.

I wish I was sorry that I'm not really what either of you need.

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