thinking too much about nothing
school's almost out for the

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Last night was so very pleasant. So lovely, in a way. So refreshing. It almost erased some of the pain of these recent revelations that have come to the forefront of our relationship. It almost made me forget what you said to me:

"When you first came here you were a sweet girl. A sweet girl. But now you're perverted. And you can never be that girl again. I ruined you."

What a horror. What a terrible thing to say. To make me feel tainted somehow...to make me feel so dirty for loving you and wanting you where I have never wanted anyone before...well, it was an awful thing for you to do. It cut me in places that i didn't even know I had. It drained me of the will to even fight...I just wanted to die, instead. Because if that's how you feel about me than what's this all been for? What is it still for? I adore you...to me you can do no real wrong. But me? I am just an object that was once intriguing in its purity and its forbidden nature, but is now boring in its familiarity and its humanity.

I will never forgive you for the way you made me feel that night. I will never forgive you for not taking it back, either. But last night was pleasant, it made me think of the way things once were and it made me smile a little...but it made me sad, too. I couldn't get your words out of my mind.

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