but it will work for now
6:58 a.m.

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I have said what a fool you are for a while now. For not loving me, for not wanting me the way I want you, for letting me go so easily...I said you were foolish for all of those things. I said you were so sadly mistaken. I said you couldn't see what was right in front of your face. Well, I guess I might be a fool, too, because that love for you that I had that I said I'd never get over...it's fading already. And my heart that I said would never stop bleeding after being stabbed over and over again by the grisly truth...well, it's scabbing over more and more every day. I still love you, don't get me wrong...but I can't sit in your shadow and avidly wait for your every breath. I can't lay here quietly just waiting for the moment when you might decide maybe you were wrong. That perfect thing we had is gone. I have to accept that. I have to believe it, because at the sight of s shred of hope all of the progress I have made on my road to recovery might be lost. We are over, to an extent...thought we still love each other. And I still say you're a fool for initiating this chain reaction. I still stand by that statement. But I'm doing as you wished. I'm pulling away. I'm giving you all of that space that two people like us should have between them. I'm moving on to other things. And that's why I'm a fool, too...because I still love you just as I always did, I'm just using whatever I can as a distraction from it.

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